For those boat enthusiasts with a sense of humour, giving your boat an awful name is one of those rare chances in life to embarrass your loved ones on a truly grand scale. If you’re the type of person who relishes the anguished expression on your friend’s face as you whip out yet another terrible pun, or you simply get some satisfaction out of watching someone name an expensive piece of machinery “Barf Bucket”, here are a collection of some of the worst names ever you can give to your boat.

Worst filthy boat names

Imagine showing off your brand-new boat to your parents in law, watching as they make the wide eyes and the nods of approval – all until you bring them round to the where you have “Suck My Deck” written in massive letters on the stern. Watch as their faces drop and your mother’s face turns a special shade of crimson.

For those with a dirty sense of humor or a penchant for embarrassing their loved ones, christening your boat with something offensive offers a unique opportunity. Whatever your stance on this type of name, here are some of the best of the worst offensive boat names that have been spotted around the world:

  • Titan Uranus
  • Stiff Ripples
  • The Salty Swallow
  • The Mistress
  • Moisty
  • Twice A Knight
  • Wet Spot
  • Wet Dream
  • Let’s Get Nauti
  • Girthy
  • Blow Job
  • Blow Me
  • Nauti Gal
  • The Filthy Oar
  • The Seaman
  • Thong Chaser
  • Panty Puller
  • Friskey Monk
  • Money Shot
  • Miss Behaving
  • Spred em
  • Cremaster
  • Love Machine
  • Lucky Sperm
  • Vagitarian
  • G-Spot
  • Rumpled Foreskin
  • Suck My Deck
  • Airgasm
  • Moisture Missile
  • Doggy Style
  • Cunning Linguist
  • Morning Wood
  • Cunning Stunts
  • Shirty Dagger
  • Bull Ship
  • Ship-Faced
  • Makin’ Luff
  • Double Penetration (for a Catamaran)
  • Four Play
  • Dixie Normous
  • Beaverlicious
  • Nauti Intentions

Say it ten times fast

For those who prefer to be a bit more discreet with their filthy sense of humour, here are a few of the worst boat names that your loved ones might not get straight away; not until they say it out loud a few times.

  • The Pork Hunt
  • Oily Beef Hooked
  • Mader Folker
  • Sofa King Fast

Toilet humour

While we’re on the topic of worst fishing boat names that would make a twelve year old giggle, it seems sadly inevitable that there are boats out there that have been named after bowel movements. Here are some of the worst that have been spotted in harbours around the world:

  • Breaking Wind
  • Passing Wind
  • Passing Gas
  • Hot Sheets